Silence, but heart crying out loud

I've smiled cause of cancer
I've laugh cause of cancer
I've loved cause of cancer
I've lived cause of cancer
I've cried cause of cancer
I've bleed cause of cancer
and now cause of cancer
I shall wept no more
but be stronger than cancer.

"To kill a mocking bird"

Gotta get this off my chest.

I started out life alone...
When I was young, I was often picked on and rejected by others because I was fat, didnt have the flyest clothes. I grew to hold society in contempt. So like most teens today, I found sanctuary with the other outcasts of society. Gangbangers and the like. Probably not feeling the security and comfort at home. Blinded by my sadness, I ventured out to find and form a union which led to hospitalization by a bullet. But because of that, I learned how much I was loved at home, with my family.

Change
Finally found common ground with others like me within my brethren. It grew to be a brotherhood. Got to meet my half brother for the first time and actually got to see an honest smile on my mom's face. School was actually working out for me. Got to taste a good life but I got caught up in hanging out too much and things started to fall apart.
I fell apart.

Divided
From a broken brotherhood to separating parents. Failures in school and intimate relationships. I "used" to cope with reality and of course that didnt help things. Trying desperately to salvage what I had left, I sacrificed a lot of myself. Time, tears, self-respect. Worst of all, I tried to change myself into something I wasn't. I lied to myself.
Had a job going no where, to another that made me feel insignificant. And within the working field, old feelings of the past started to resurface. This time, it was the my ethnicity.

Blind hope
Tried to revive old friendships but the borders returned and only grew thicker. Abandoned by what was left of my brotherhood because of irrational decisions from excessive drinking. Only to return a broken home with a senile parent, and a stupid, selfish slave-driving sibling.

All I have now is my plans for my future, and have come full circle to how I started out in life...

Is to have someone in your heart but not your arms.

I will no longer cry or shed a tear for you
I'm done feeling blue
I will no longer wonder if your love was true
I know now that your heart is o so cruel
I know now who the idiot is, me....
to shower you with my luv
but you're wearing someone else's gloves...
So you say.
Watever, I don't care anymore.
For you've already set shore...
I will no longer swim across the ocean just to be with you.
All I know is that so much, you made me hate you.
Just leave me, my heart, my mind and my soul.
I always knew you were cruel but my heart has blinded me.
Now, it's too late... I shall be silence and refuse to cry anymore.
I don't care either.
What comes around goes around.

ONce UPon A time
THere was Truth to the
MYth of what you
And I Had found
in a blank paged
Fairy tale.

Snow white
Doesn't sleep
IN a casket made of
Glass.
Slippers will break
if you wear them.
Walk acrosss this
Written word
With finger
Genty
Seeking
Loving
You
And No More.
HE loves Me
HE LOve ME'
Not
Enough.

To
MY Valentine
Will You BE MIne
NO LOnger.............................

I LOve YOu'
There is no silence in my heart,
When i m in love
There is not tears from mu soul
no longing or hatred----
Only passion, love and romance.
When im with you.
This im how i am i love.
LOve'

ITS more than i have love,
is more than what you love,
take me where i've love,
take me where i am to inlove,
is what i am with you.

What is Romance?
what is romance?
ITs is when i give u flower where i give a gorgeous dinner?
OR IS IT WHEN I SIMPPLY SAY? I LOve You.

your tears as fake as your love
to put your ears before her gloves
instead of following your heart
all I wanted was to love you
to care for you
and grow old with you
no more turning back on time
cause you turned your back on me
when you reached out and sipped her poisoned tea.

Hope916 you can talk to me, you don't have to wish no more....lol.

Fire after it burn there still ash left over, if i take your heart there is nothings left over i made sure your last tears drop....

Once In a Lifetime.

I don't know what ur situation is but with those moments we have, I'm sure no relationship is perfect. We all have our moments. When it comes to love, sometimes we have to be selfish, cause love is hard to find but easy to lose. Once bitten twice shy..... Love is all about trust, respect, and being true to one another. When u love someone, that person shouldn't have to feel hurt, threaten, or have to compete with some one else. That love shouldn't be judged in the first place. If it's meant to be. Love will find it's way back to you. I know I dont make any sense... but don't lose ur hope....

"Never settle for less because you deserve more."

Spoken like a wise women that you are. Thank you PKJ. It was just how I felt at the time. Wished I had someone to talk to.

You don't know the definition of hurt
that's why you always come in here to blurt

Your only thrill is to come in here and whine
But don't expect the others to go blind

Please put an end to your selfishness
So others can be blessed.
--------------------------------------------------------------

Once In a Lifetime.

You have one life to live. Are u saying ur never gonna change from being a fool? Yes you can change. People can change. U got HOPE! Have some faith in yourself and "Never settle for less because you deserve more," my mien sister! Ur a beautiful individual. Sorry for commenting you. But it's time you get a smile on ur face. Time for you to go happy lucky! In any sense, be happy. One life to live and live it to the fullest. Hope I didn't offend you in any way. Happy Xmas and Merry New Year! Take care. PKJ!

"Never settle for less because you deserve more."

Once a cheater always a cheater. People can never change who they are. An optimist will always be happy. A pestimist will always be sad. And an unlucky girl like me always plays the fool.

Once In a Lifetime.

What LIES beneath!

We have been friends for couple years now and I hope our friendship never ends.
Now that we admit our feelings for one another, I hope we will never part
These days, everyday I get worried more and more that your love will change even when you told me that you will always love me regardless
I see the looks that you give
And wonder what you see in me
I don’t want my heart broken
But I am so in love with you
I can’t seem to give you up
To someone else
Please don’t let me down
Don’t take my love for granted
Because my heart isn’t too strong
I don't want to get hurt by someone i truly love with all my heart
I want to be at the top of your list
But I don’t have to be first
But baby remember always and forever I love you with all of my heart.

X-mas is coming,I am thinking of you ,wishing you a merry X-mas.
How are you doing these months?Do you feel happy?Perhaps you do,I am still jealous of that girl,that lucky girl.Sometimes I thought I can get out of all these,But others I feel so upset and blue when I think of you ,wondering that you two will be got married months later.Sorrow fall upon me thinking of your marriage,I really don't want you marry.truelyyyyy.I can't even master myself,I almost want to press the button to call you,But I can't ,I must not.I should master myself,or what else could I master?my temper?my upset? my affection?or else?I should and I must master myself in order to master the most difficult things in this world,in the coming future.I shoud learn to be tolerable,be tough.
I am still a child in love affairs.
I am cruel to the one who loves me .
Even a fool to the one I love,to you.
So good to him,
want to do everything for him,
Until he drop me behind.

Have I grown up?
Have I learn some lessons from it?
I don't even know.
Maybe still a child,
on my way.

Once In a Lifetime.

A boy speaks from his heart to his mama, "Mommy I want a new daddy. I don't like my daddy, he's too mean. I hate him.." The mom cries in silent and tears with a fake smile "Some day you will have a nice, kind, caring, thoughtful and loving daddy".... Even though his mom knows in reality men now a days are all kids them selves still trying to grow up and learn what love means or how great it makes one feel. Last x-mas she gave him a new dad but the new dad was no different than the old one..... So this year, she decided to tell him, "Son just go to school, focus on ur education, so when u grow up, u can be a better father to your children"... The son looks at the mom all confused, but one day, when he gets older... Hopefully he'll then remember this very x-mas.....

Anyone here?It seems no one came here for a long time.
I thinks a great many things.pretty tired. Tired of love affiars and something else.
I became more and more speechless these days.I keep silence most of the time.My heart is miserable.I feel so upset that no one would concern about me except my family.But my family can do nothing for me .Cuz I am far away from home.
I wonder whether anyone will notice me if I disappear from this world.
what is life,How to live life fully and completely?
My life is peace and waveless.I will be degerate unless I change a kind of living life.

Fingx Mienh, meih gorngv daaih zeix nyei. zoux haaix nyungv yiem mbuo nyie hnyiouv cuotv hnangv.
Mbuo haaix dauh yaac hnamv daaih maaih dorngx zoux daaih bun mbuo mun hnyiouv mv'baac it will definitely take time for our heart to heal.

Yiem naaiv bamh-gen ... zoux longx sei duqv longx, zoux waaic sei duqv waaic...

I (Yaucsutv) strongly believed there are HEAVEN & HELL do exist. If there are Lifes and Deaths existing. However getting to your destination is up to you?

Paradise is not the future nor the past. Paradise is NOW! Live to the fullest... Enjoy everyday life.....The only god that exist is your MOTHER and FATHER... besure to thank them everyday for giving you life........

The only "highway" we can be 100% certain of in this lifetime is the highway to our graves. Hell, heaven, cloud nine, elysium, underworld, angels, devils and all of that other stuff are just our imagination at work.

Its a believe folks! There are no ways or highways to any places.

No offense, none taken. Did God create this world so perfect? If he's the only perfect one then why is sin and guilt created? Why are there thieves, cheaters, hatred, etc. created? Why can't we just find this Mr/Mrs desirable and be happy for the rest of our lives? Why must people get divorce? Why get married? True love should not be part of a sin and guilt regardless. When it comes to love, anything and everything is perfect. Love is desired when it's true, no sin or guilt should even be felt regardless. GOD is more perfect cause he created us but in reality no one is perfect.

This topic is about my feeling, my burning desire toward someone I dearly love and care for here on earth. For the preacher, I am also a christian myself too. This topic is about sin and guilt that we each have inside of us. Hey may be you can express some of yours. God is the only perfect one, none of us is, no offense.

=]if you are replying back to me...you don't need to apologize. I was just putting in my 2cents. btw..think we are cuzzin neeway! :)

Sorry

=]As many of you prolly have already seen what the webmaster posted. There is another forum about religion. Why not go there to put out your opinion instead?
what is the point anyway? Believe what you want to believe in. We are still Mien